Believe it or not, if I didn’t have to respond to the editor’s other inquiries, we could get on with the story.  It’s a good story full of twists, turns, and K’fr dealing Minataur’s; but for reasons of suspense, I will not elaborate at this point on exactly which Minataur in the story will be smuggling K’fr in his saddle bags because he has diplomatic immunity on account of his having royal blood in his veins, but for the love of Gra’gl, I’m hoping you can figure it out on your own.
            But like I said, before we get to that, first I have to respond to the editor and let you know what a Troll looks like.
            They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so if you want to know what a Troll looks like, turn on the TV.
            -- Click --
            See there you are.  No, that’s not a troll.  That’s Jeannette Stevens, the award winning anchor for the Mt. D©©m News.  She has her own news program now, The Jeannette Stevens Weekly Report.  She’s everything Dark Portent could ever possibly want in an Elf and more.  She’s blond, beautiful, career minded, and incredibly smart.  Don’t ask me how she got mixed up with Minne.
            -- Click --
            No.  Those aren’t Trolls either.  This is the Bash Toe Horde.  I love this episode.  Mom and Dad go to a Separatist Rally and while they’re out, Grug throws his spear in the house and breaks a vase.
“Mom always said, don’t throw spears in the house.”
What?  You’ve never heard of the Bash Toe Horde?  You know, personally, I hate it when an author writes some stupid song or poem and then inserts it into his story -- usually on some ultra-weak pretext.  In fact, I usually just skip over them.  So if you don’t care for song parodies, feel free to ignore this bit.  Also, I’ve got to apologize, I’m coming down with a bit of a cold, and so my voice is a little hoarse.  Anyway, here it goes:

The Bash Toe Horde.  The Bash Toe Horde.

It’s the story of an Orcin Lady
            Who was bringing up three very horrid girls
            All of them had wiry hair like their mother
            The youngest one in barbs

Da-na-da-da

It’s the story of a Goblin called Bash Toe
            Who was bringing up three very lovely cubs
            They were four warriors living all together
            Yet they were all alone

It goes on, but you get the point.  Who would have thought mixed species marriages would have made it onto primetime TV, and a Goblin/Orc marriage at that?  Good thing they never had any joint offspring!  Makes me shudder just to think about it.
            But, enough of that.
            -- Click --
            Here we go: This Ole’ Lair.  See Handy in the hard hat, he’s a Troll.  Ever looking for somebody to get some real work done, you’ll be looking for a Troll.  That guy in the white shirt standing next to him is an Ogre -- bigger, dumber, and not as helpful.  And all the guys on the site that the camera never quite focuses on, those guys are Gnomes.
            -- Click-Off --
            So I hope that settles it.  In just a couple pages when the story starts and I introduce Jeannette into the plot line, I don’t want to get any letters complaining about how I didn’t describe her.  She’s a major TV personality.  Flick on the tube.  Take an interest.