Now, I published the first two letters just so you would get an idea of what my usual fan mail looks like.  The next few letter writers didn’t send any money, and so didn’t get a personalized reply that they could have sold on Manna-Bay for untold gobs of gold.  Their loss.

 
                   Yo!
                   Why you no describe what Goblin look like?
                   Garry the Goblin

                   Hey!
                   What dat Orc look like?
                   Orin the Orc

        Don’t you read my Comments!
        You need to describe your creatures better.
        What the heck does a Gnome look like?
        What’s the difference between a Troll and an Ogre?
        What exactly is a Depth Fiend?
        And if I wanted to pick up a hot Elvin chick, would I be better off going to the Dungeon Edge Café or Lucky’s Tavern?
        Your Editor!

 These are exactly the type of letters I don’t respond to, but I seem to get so many of them -- especially from that editor guy -- that I thought it might be a good idea to just briefly go over what the different creatures look like.

Ready?
            OK.
            Minne looks exactly like a Minataur.  Let me say it slower.  Maybe it will help.  He looks exactly like a Min-a-taur.

 Just kidding.  I can just see my editor pulling his hair out over that one.  Look, you want to know what Minne looks like, right?  Well, look on the front cover.  Right there in full color glossy oil or whatever they use in your dimension should be a picture of Minne by some famous and talented artist.  And that’s what a Minataur looks like.  Duh!

But just in case you’re the artist and don’t know what to paint, let me help you out.  Minne has the body of a man and the head of a bull.  He stands over seven feet tall, and tends to wear cowboy boots, blue jeans, and plaidish shirts.

Sadly, that’s where the easy description ends, because sometimes Minne has horns, and sometimes he doesn’t.  That’s because, he can change what his face looks like at will.  So, you could say that he had big horns, a grizzly beard, and eyes full of hate and you’d be right, or you could say that he had the face of a two month old calf, all sweet, soft, and tender and you’d also be right.  That face changing ability is about it for Minne’s magical powers.  Well, that and his ability to track through the vortexes.  But how to explain that last?  Oh, here.  Suppose Minne wanted to go from, um, say, just off the top of my head, from Rigor Pass to the Realms of Chaos.  Well he could do that by way of M©ther G©©se Land or any other vortex he wants to visit on the way.

Gee.  That’s not a very good description of vortex tracking, is it?

Look, just trust me on this.  I’m not saying it will get any clearer, but if things start to get weird around Minne (the scenery changes, the plot goes to H$rlk in a hand basket, or something like that) just assume Minne is vortex hopping and you’ll be in pretty good shape.

So are we all OK with Minne, then?  We all know what he looks like?  And that he’s rude, self serving, and of royal blood, which isn’t so much a magical ability, but something useful and central to the storyline in it’s own right.  Oh, and I guess while I’m at it, I should say that the ladies tend to go for Minne in a love to hate him, hate to love him sort of way.

And there’s Minne.