Portrait of an Imaginary Friend
by
Sal E. Mander




# # # 1 # # #


    Hello der
    Dis our book
    We Stars
    We Famous
    We -----
    (blink, blink)  Hey, what you do?
    You can no do that, we -----
    He deed it again
    He trampling on our rights
    Dis ----- abuse
    Maybe we go on strike
OK Guys, we’ve been through this.  No names, and no descriptive features.
    Still makee no sense
    Yeah, why you bleep us whenever we say -----
Um, you might be copyrighted.
    Might be?
    He shoulda makee up his mind
    Copyright.  You ask me, more like copywrong
Look, you know the story.  You’re my bestest friends in the whole wide world.  I’d do just about anything for you guys, but jail doesn’t sound like fun.  And, we ain’t gonna get any money if the book gets lost in a copyright war.  More importantly, we ain’t never gonna get that Cadillac if we don’t make money off this book.
    We want’em caddilac
    Want to ride in a big caddilac
    (all together)
    Cadillac, Cadillac,
    long and green
    ----- in back
    Green OK, but no -----
Saying green is OK.  We can say that.  We can tell them more.  We can say that you guys are green, have two arms, two legs, and are about 3” tall with tails to match.
    You sure tell the lot
You’ve got big eyes, skin that sags over your bodies, and a big bellies.
    And cute, you forget cute
    And smart,
    And cleever, we veery cleeverer
And obstinant, and...
    Grrr
And, my very bestest friends.
    We love you too
Somebody had too.
    So we did


Sal
E.
Mander
(continues)



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