G’narsh
The Troll, The Myth, The Legend
by
Kevin Stillwater
chapter 3
# # # And Here Now Our Story - G’narsh’s Ray’s # # #
page 5
G’narsh considers Nadia, strokes her body -- gently,
soothingly, and with calm reassurance -- but his mind is a
tempest. When the cobalts sing, “Mop, mop, mop,” G’narsh only
hears, “Death to the weak. Death to the betrayers.” And
when they sing “Clean, clean, clean,” in his mind he hears the words of
old -- a gruesome entreaty to, “Tear them in half and feast on their
blood,” which all in all is a tempting thought. G’narsh knows
that it would be easy enough to pick Nadia up, lift her over his head,
twist her in half, and gulp down whatever stray spurts of blood landed
in his mouth. It wouldn’t be much, but (and here he turns his
head to regard the (((heaving))) pile of gutter fairies) she has
sisters. It is compelling. Blood used to taste so good and
no one would call him on it. He is their king, their ruler, or as
the Charlie’s like to say, their boss man.
But G’narsh knows he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t kill
Nadia. Well, wouldn’t do it, won’t do it. He sighs, brings
Nadia up to his shoulder like a baby and rocks her gently as he returns
to the accounts. There remains the issue of that single gold
piece -- a comically unimportant sum considering the size of the
pile. But still, it is all he can think about. Or maybe it
is more important to realize that as he tries to concentrate on the
books, his mind keeps on going through fantasies of murder, rape, and
senseless retribution. In some ways these thoughts are
comforting, like a welcome friend, while in other ways the thoughts are
very disquieting -- being something akin to standing at the top of a
cliff, where, despite your will, your mind keeps on jumping over the
edge, imagining the fall. The dilemma being, once one’s spirit is
in freefall, how can one be certain their feet will stay rooted on the
ground and that they won’t mistake an imaginary impulse, a bit of play
(((or some stray dream world command, yes, I’m talking to you fanboy
and/or girl))) for some real world desire?
It is not a happy place to be.