THIRTY SEVEN: is a no nonsense, pragmatic, down to earth sort of gal;
that’s why she flies an airplane for a living. They say Thirty
Seven got her name from the number on her aeroplane, but which came
first -- the number or the name -- only she can tell, but she’s not, so
no else knows, and there you are. One thing is for certain,
however, Thirty Seven sure has a strong affinity for that particular
number and you can bet that if only the right units could be found, one
would find that Thirty Seven is exactly 37 (blanks) old and 37 (blanks)
tall... Um, we shall stop there, since it is well known fact
throughout the territory of Lihi’i that adverse physical consequences
soon befall anyone foolish enough to flesh out such a list any
further. So as to mention anything further regarding Thirty
Seven’s curvaceous physique...
Oh, whoa! Hey, there! You be careful, Cliff. Yeah, you skating on thin ice.
Um, yes.
So, limiting ourselves to the things we can say about Thirty Seven
with... er, um, impunity, we know that she tears the 37th page out of
each and every book, catalog, and magazine that she delivers to the
island in her duties as Mail Lady; the cost of a flight on Thirty
Seven’s airplane -- Old No. 37 -- is always exactly $37 (all seats
first class, non-smoking with choice of beverage and snack included...
trick flying, loop-de-loops, and barf bags optional); and that 37 is
the number of times Cliff had to ask Thirty Seven out on a date before
she finally succumbed to his charms and said yes.
However, if any of this should lead you to believe that Thirty Seven is
a wee bit superstitious, keep such thoughts to yourself: everyone knows
saying stuff like that is bad luck.
So why you say it? You not too smart. You never catch me saying something like that.
Like what?
Oh, no. You not catch me so easy.
STORY: Zero
- story of the Japanese fighter pilot (hard to say if this was supposed
to be during the war (WWII), one of those pilots who never gave up, or simply
a Japanese Tourist with PTSD flashbacks visiting the island years
later.
* * * * *
COMMENTARY: Um, there is almost nothing to go on in Cliff's notes
regarding this story. So as long as one keeps within the spirit
of the rest, I would say almost anything goes. However,
there is mention of a movie being filmed on the island at one point.
(Cliff has a fling with a starlet. Or rather, she
would have liked to have had an affair with him, but his heart already
belonged to Thirty Seven and Lihi'i. Or maybe this was before he
and Thirty Seven hooked up.) Anyway, as to the Zero story, I'm thinking
(guessing at random, going with the first wild thought that pops into
my head), that this was, also, part of the film crew / movie adventure. So, let's go
that. And here, then, is one possible outline of that combined adventure:
A film crew comes to Lihi'i to make some some WWII flying movie.
Thirty Seven is hired to do some stunt flying featuring a dogfight sequence...
Or really, better yet, Thirty Seven is NOT hired to do the dogfight sequence.
And so, takes it upon herself to run interference and protect the island from Zeroes.
Her
and one of the pilots (call him Hero Zed Zero) square off; and it
becomes his job to keep Thirty Seven away from the real shoot (corral
her, keep her occupied, run diversionary tactics, and that sort of
thing).
He's obviously not her type -- dashing, good looking,
doesn't get air sick, can actually fly a plane -- so it is only with
great reluctance that Thirty Seven starts drinking with the crew at
Kami's Bar & Grill (at the Grand Lihi'i Hotel) after the day's
shoot.
Cliff pretends that he doesn't care, that he's over
Thirty Seven, and puts the moves on some starlet... a starlet who is
very responsive to his advances -- or so he would have you believe.
Though in truth, I'm guessing she's playing the jealously game, as well.
Dog fight turns to cat fight... No, this is My Hawaii, so that's not going to happen.
I'm
guessing Hero Zed Zero offers Thirtys Seven a job in his flight crew
traveling flying circus squadron thing. 'Travel the world with
me.'
Meanwhile,
Stacy Starlet falls head over heels in love with Cliff. (One must
remember that Cliff is writing these things and he's a bit delusion, so
head over heels might be a bit of an overstatement. Probably,
more likely, she was only desperately, helplessly in love with Cliff,
fearing the day they would part. So, she offers him a job as her
lackey, 'You seem to get along well with the natives. I could use
a person like you running interference with the public. Ever think about a job in PR?'
But that would mean Thirty Seven would have to leave Lihi'i.
And that would mean Cliff would have to leave Lihi'i.
And
neither one of them is ever going to leave Lihi'i (making it all the
more probably that the satchel was already in the hands of his
descendants by the time I got it).
And so there you are.
The film crew departs, Thirty Seven and Cliff sipping a beer.
I could never leave Lihi'i.'
Or me. Admit it. You could never leave me.
No. It's Lihi'i I could never leave behind.
Because this is where I'll be.
And
in the ensuing banter, I do believe we would have the set up for the
next story, about someone named Kiwi, who did indeed leave
the island, and who broke more than a few hearts when she did.
Continuing more or less where we left off:
So, you see, I never could leave. I couldn't do that to you.
To me?
Well, yes. You and Crazy Anne.
Crazy Anne?
Yeah, Crazy Anne. I see the way she looks at me.
Not that that sets up the next story in the least, but that's what rewrites (or actual first writes) are all about...