Cliff Hanger's
My Hawaii
Cliff Hanger
Anyone will tell you that gambling is a numbers game.
That's why you should never gamble with anyone named after a number.
But then, that's maybe more about Thirty Seven than Cliff, so...
Some folks name their house after themselves,
Others get named after their house.
Cliff Hanger Character Sketch
CLIFF: after his second marriage fell apart, Cliff Hanger --
international man of mystery, agent provocateur, and all around swell
guy -- was looking for a change of pace: something a little more
relaxing, something a little more rewarding, and something just a
little more comfortable than his sister’s couch. So with the
eager help of his brother in law, who was happy to see Cliff back on
his feet and out the door, Cliff Hanger -- dashing hero, rugged fool,
and Kala’s gift to women the world round -- landed a new job with the
State Department acting as the United States official attaché to the
remote island territory known only as Lihi’i. Unfortunately, the
job was not as easy as he had been lead to believe by his brother in
law. No, sir-re! Beyond acting as a Cultural Liaison, he
was also expected to fill out a five page report -- each and every
month! Typed! And in triplicate!
Ah,
what you complain about, you no type up; Lihi do that. And all
that change from month to month be the date. Everything else
always the same.
No. No. He got to change what sort of {CANDY BAR} he order.
Oh, yeah-yeah. Dat be hard.
So many choices.
Et be the Reeses.
The peanut butter cup.
And that other one.
What other one?
I forget. Hey, Cliff. What you order this week?
STORY: Pack Rat, wherein Cliff takes his time unpacking as he doesn't have to throw a luau to welcome himself until he does.
* * * * *
COMMENTARY: Cliff actually wrote a fair bit of this story himself.
And I'll post at least the first chapter of what he wrote online,
eventually. It's funny stuff in my opinion -- a good chuckle
every few hundred words or so -- quick and witty. Of course, he
didn't finish the story. But what are you going to do.
The other story that he never tells, which would probably be just as
definitive for Cliff as any other (keeping in mind that all the
stories feature Cliff in one way or another) would revolve around his
second luau. The major plot points of that second luau as I
see them are:
- After Cliff throws his first luau, he
vows never to do it again. 'Well, glad that's done. Never
going to do that again.'
- To which 37 says something along the lines of, 'Want to bet?'
- Being soft in the head, Cliff accepts the wager.
- And 37 months later, he is in fact throwing another luau in celebration of his marriage to 37.
- And then another after that to pay off the bet.
- 'Well, there! That's done. Now, I'm most definitely through with luaus.'
- To which, one and all, but mostly 37 replies, 'Want to bet?'