Celli the Happy Go Lucky Celaphopod's
Minataur Tails
The Second Book
in the Award Winning
D-Bound Adventuring Series
Online
Table of Contents
Errata for the Umptenth Edition
Some folks wonder why good old (and I do mean old, as in ancient) JRRR Huffy Puff’s widow never thought to sue us over our use of the name: Mt D©©M. Um, simple reason, Mt D©©M is Mt D©©M’s actual name and y©u can’t c©pyright actual l©cati©n names. But then, perhaps that doesn’t satisfy, so let me give you the long winded explanation -- complete with all the sordid details.
Not only is Mt D©©M called Mt D©©M, it’s also called Crags Haven, Crags Rock, Crags View, and basically every other iteration of Crags Blank that there is by the Orcs; Rock This and Rock That by the Goblins; Mt Russell on Earth by the Humans (along with a few more slanderous derivations); and countless other names throughout the Realms including Dragon’s Mount, but let’s face it, the only folks calling Mt D©©M Dragon’s Mount these days are tourists who don’t know any better on account of how they’re simply reading the name off the outdated maps they bought back home, which, by the by, is why you should update your cartographic collection with an official Mt D©©M Collector’s Map as printed by D-Bound Publishing Group. (TODAY! DO IT TODAY!) But then, I digress (as I pretty much always do), because, let’s face it, most locals simply call Mt D©©M H©me and leave it at that.
Um, so are we clear so far? Have I given you enough history, backstory, and/or other useless information? I mean, basically, Mt D©©M could easily be called
That Pile of Rocks a Mile High with a Million and One Names
; but then, that’s sort of unwieldy and if you name a place something as long and unwieldy as that, it’s just a matter of time before someone finds a shorter nickname for it -- you know, something catchy that somehow manages to conveys a lot of relevant information about the place in just a few short words. And voila! Before you know it, folks are calling the place Mt D©©M even though it has nothing (absolutely nothing) to do with that other (arguably more famous) place in the first place.
Ah, but then it does (have something to do with that other place in the first place). And that’s where things get interesting. I mean, who do you suppose first thought of calling Mt D©©M, Mt D©©M? That’s right. Adventures! Adventures, who (coincidentally enough) were winding their way back home from the Ring Wars. Of course, it’s highly unlikely these particular adventures saw anything close to “action” in said same Ring Wars and we know this because they named Mt D©©M after the rainclouds that surround the summit around midday. I mean, let’s face it, that isn’t exactly what Mt D©©M is known for, now is it?
No. It is not.
Anyway, the thinking goes that these so called “adventurers” thought the overcast sky sort of looked all ominous and Dark Warlordish and how they imagined the real Mt D©©M might look, on account of how they never actually saw the original Mt D©©M up close and personal (having never seen it and/or any real “action” in said same Ring Wars). Anyway, no doubt, these “adventures” started throwing their gold around the Dungeon Café (as adventurers -- even “adventurers” -- are want to do), buying rounds on the house and whatnot, and if they wanted to call the place Mt D©©M, well then, Mt D©©M it was. And then, since it is a sort of catchy name and all, by the time they moved on (as adventurers -- even “adventurers” -- are want to do), the name had taken hold and entered the local lexicon (even if at first it was simply an inside joke about how stupid some “adventurers” -- yes even adventurers -- are).
And I guess that would be the end of that, except at some point we realized that the real reason good ole Puffy Stuff’s Widow wasn’t suing us over the use of Mt D©©M was because she was making a mint off the confusion... and the t-shirt royalties specifically: ‘My Dark Liege fought his way to the top of Mt D©©M and all I got was this lousy T-shirt’ and that sort of tripe. And, although that might have been fine and dandy as far as that sneaky, good for nothing Stuff ‘n Puff hag of a widow was concerned, if there’s one thing you will know about Dragon Bound Publishing Group (Limited Ltd.) by the end of this here magnificent tome of (adventuring and/or and inclusive of “adventuring”) knowledge, it’s that around here we will do just about anything for a royalty check. And if that means changing the name of Mt D©©M to Mt D©©M, well then, Mt D©©M it is -- and that’ll be two silvers a t-shirt, thank you very much (embossed lettering or matching beanie cap six-pence extra, if you please).
Minataur
Tails
TOC
(continues)
© Copyright 2013 Brett Paufler
paufler.net@gmail.com
Brett
Words
Putting the D©©M in Mt D©©M since
Rigor Pass 1866: The Manna B©©M Years