With great power comes great responsibility,
to act as eccentric as possible, of course.
Please be advised, due to the increased volume of emails I have received (2 this past week alone, that's a 100% increase, I'll have you know) and to cut down on the flack (spam, unsolicited proposals of marriage, and correspondence from my relatives, etc.), we here at www.paufler.net (meaning, me here at www.paufler.net) have decided {elected, duly authorized our collections agents, and so on and so forth ad naseum) to institute a reading fee on all incoming electronic correspondence.
As such, please attach sufficient Bit-Coins (or other sundry and sort of electronic pyramid and/or payment methodologies) with all future emails.
We at www.paufler.net (once again, meaning me at www.paufler.net) thank you for your attention to this small (albeit minor, but very important) detail.
NO COD's!!!
Why do I even have to say this?
I am not a bank
WE DO NOT ACCEPT COD's!!!
And no, I could not spot you a bit-coin fiver.
Begone, you free-loading Internet what's-ya-call-its.