Gilding the Lily

Photo Fiction

Brett Paufler

Page 8

Entrance Sign: Oahu Cemetery & Chapel, founded 1844

So, like, I was standing pretty darn close to the cemetery entrance when I snapped that picture of the hearse, so no real surprise there. And I'm sure we'll find all the clues we need to wrap this case up, right here, in the cemetery.

Cemetery Gravestones with statue of girl in the distance

"There! Right there! She's the one!"
"The one?"
"Yeah, the ghost!"
"And you can tell that, how?"
"It was the first thing in the cemetery that caught my eye. I have the sight, you know."
"And I have a policy, never argue with a crazy man."
"Good policy."
"It has served me exceedingly well as of late."

Flock of Birds (maybe doves) at Base of Chain Link Fence

Hmm. But this was interesting. Clearly the birds had found something...

GIF Close Up of Parrots Eating Fruit Hanging from Fence

So, I suppose some writers might ask around, do a little research, or something along those lines. I make wild-ass guesses. Anyway, I think someone maybe might have told me that this was some sort of tradition (Korean?, but don't quote me on that, I really don't know, and there are far more Japanese on the island than Koreans, so that would be the safe bet -- see, I really don't know). Anyway, fruit was hung from the cemetery fence. And I do believe I've seen this in my travels a time or two before.

GIF of Parrots Eating Fruit with Flock of Doves on Ground Below

I don't really know the rationale behind it. To feed the dead, keep them from wandering, or simple to keep the birds off the graves.

Let's face it, keeping the birds off the graves does seem to be the most practical, but not necessarily the most fun.

"No!"
"What?"
"Don't eat it!"
"But it looks good."
"It's for the dead."
"I've got it on good authority that they're not hungry. I am. Ergo Sum... Ouch!"
"It's disrespectful."
"Yes. Hitting me. I agree. It's very disrespectful. Ouch!"
"Are you always like this?"
"Hungry? It seems to come and go. But you got to admit that leg bone really didn't have that much meat left on it."
"Stop it!"
"Ouch! Do you have a thing against me eating or something?"

Cemetery Headstone ('Cupid Lei Joseph') Dark Clouds in Distance

So, photographs of people, I wonder where the line is... and if there's a line. Does National Geographic get a Model Waiver and Liability Release From signed from every last African Tribesman (woman, child, or psychopathic tree) that they take a picture of and publish in their magazine? It seems unlikely. What seems more likely is that there's some sort of Journalism Exception (being the reason celebrities can't stop the paparazzi from publishing their pictures). Anyhow, legalities aside, there is also the matter of good taste. To photograph gravestones or not to photograph gravestones. Um, clearly, I've made my choice. And I'll go so far as to label it as a bit of an honorific -- you know, like a memorial.

"Don't step on the headstones!"
"But the grass is soggy. Ouch!"
"I warned you."
"Are you always this violent?"
"Are you always this stupid?"
"Well, now that's a difficult question. Ouch!"
"Only for you."
"No, probably for everyone. A guy, such as myself, with an IQ in the low six figures..."
"You have no idea what an IQ is, do you?"
"Ahem, in the low six figures. Then the question arises, when I'm having an off day and only being super-duper incredibly mind-boggling brilliant is it fair to call me stupid, because on a relative basis, I am?"

Oh, but more important than all that.

"Cupid Lei Joseph, let us take a moment to honor his memory... and realize that we're talking about a love story here."

This is just a cool picture. The storm clouds above make it look ominous to me.

Same Cross Headstone without the clouds so much

And this is almost the exact same image minus the storm clouds -- much more inviting to me. I mean, in as much as a cemetery is ever 'inviting'.

Close Up of Cupid Lei Joseph's Headstone

Anyhow, back to Cupid. To me, I'm paying him an honor posting an image of his gravestone on the Internet and I say this in all seriousness. The graveyard was full of headstones and most of those I completely looked over and dismissed. Cupid's, I did not. And in my mind, at least, he now has a certain post-life noteriety.

Super Close Up of Cupid's Headstone that Indicates He was a Father... and a Fireman

Cupid was also a Daddy. So, two deaths, maybe his daughters. But no, that would be too simplistic. No real satisfaction in that. Especially after one looks close and realizes that this man was a fireman!!!

A fireman that died young!!!

'Young' Headstone in the Context of the Cemetery

Seriously, that's all the headstone says. And it was almost the next thing I noticed in the graveyard. OK, the next thing that stood out and had meaning. But this game of storytelling is a lot like connecting the dots. And there's not much point in calling anything a dot until you can connect something to it. Capiche?

Headstone with Coral Necklace, Palm Trees in the Distance

This is just a classic Hawaiian Graveyard image. No real dot. No connection in story. I just like the image, the feel.

Two Trees in the Center of the Graveyard

Oh, but here's something. Can you see it? At the center of the graveyard were two more trees -- solid Good Guy Trees.

Tow Angel (cherub like) Figures Forming a Pair of Headstones, an Empty Vase In-between

And then we have these two cuties, if it's acceptable to call cherubs cuties. Two deaths, two children: I think we have a match.

"So, loverboy is our killer?"
"Who?"
"Cupid."
"Oh, you mean Cupid Lei Joseph. Let's try to keep this respectful."
"Fine, have it your way. So, he's the father. His daughters die in a fire. So what? He comes back from the dead to avenge their death?"
"Or maybe they're his sisters, who died in infancy and that's why he became a fireman in the first place. Only, if he did that, their deaths would have already been avenged by the life he subsequently lived, so no reason to come back as a ghost."
"Given this some thought, have you?"
"A little. I've been known to be morbidly preoccupied at times."

I did, after all, select a cemetery as my secondary destination on this walk.
But as to the story, that's not settled, not yet. I'd already decided that statue of the girl in the distance held the final clue. So, I in the meantime, I was just was just gathering material, hoping something would stand out and click.

The Next Exciting Installment of Gilding The Lily

(((Note: while the pictures are real (as real as pictures can get) all the text should be treated as fiction -- or at least, unreliable. Nothing has been fact checked. Things change. And the truth sometimes only serves to get in the way of a good story. Thus, taken as a whole, these web pages that comprise this story should be viewed as a record of one man's flight of fancy as he takes a walk on a long sunny afternoon. Nothing more. Nothing less. And most certainly, no disrespect to any individual (living or dead) is intended.)))

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