Grandma Food
I call what I cook Brett Food. This is actually a reference to my grandmother, perhaps a homage of sorts. Towards the end of her life, she lived in a retirement community: meals included. And not interested in eating as much as she'd once been, she wrapped up the extras, saved it in her freezer, and I'd drop by once a week or so, pick up my bag of frozen Grandma Food, and bring it on home.
Grandma Food was good stuff:
Bacon Sandwiches... with added butter
Hamburgers... with added butter
Grilled Cheese... with added butter
And if there was nothing left to put it on, just packets of butter.
If I do say so myself, she was a woman after my own heart, for she instinctually knew that everything goes better with butter... even butter.
Of course, the butter was easy to pull off. And more or less on a weekly basis, my room mates and I would gorge on the frozen entrees until there was nothing left but scraps of meat:
Half a Pork Chop
An uneaten Salisbury Steak
A few slices of Roast Beef
Chicken Legs, and the like.
All this stuff, I'd put into a pot; and out of the lot, I'd make a mystery meat stew. This stew my room mates were not keen on eating. I'd ask them if they wanted any Grandma Food and they'd say, "Sure. Any hamburgers left?"
"No," I'd say. "But I'm making a stew."
To which they would patiently explain, "That's not Grandma Food. Grandma Food is hamburgers and grilled cheese. That stuff in the pot, that's Brett Food. And you really shouldn't be blaming your grandmother. She had nothing to do with that catastrophe."
"Well, if that's going to be your attitude, I'll eat it myself."
And so I did.
And I do.
And I savour every bite.
And as to the critics and naysayers, over the years I've learned to turn a deaf ear.
My grandmother would be proud.
"Too much butter? Don't be ridiculous. You can never have too much butter."
More or less equal portions of pork, vegetables, and rice, with plum sauce and whatever other flavourings I had in the refrigerator.
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© 2013-2016 Brett Paufler
Yeah, I'll still take credit for this...