Brett Paufler

Content Creator

paufler.net@gmail.com

Image Manipulation with Python
JavaScript Vector Graphics
Science Fiction & Fantasy Writing
and other cool stuff

The Dragon Bound Quartet
is the reason I put together a website in the first place
and you can find the complete epic at the link above.

Python Image Manipulation

I spend most of my creative time these days manipulating photographs using Python, openCV, skimage, numpy, and the like with the goal of achieving surreal effects.

Vision Quest.

is where I blog about such photo manipulation techniques and post links to my tutorials and sample code along with plenty of pictorial examples. For example:

is where I explore this tool from a non-technical photo manipulation point of view.

And having done that, I then tend to create Photo Fiction (picture stories) set in alternate worlds and written around the various photographic imaging effects that I've created, such as:

Through Emerald Coloured Eyes

which uses a sparkly green eye elven filter

Tales of the Nav

which uses a blue futuristic temporal distortion filter

JavaScript

Prior to Python, I did a fair amount of vector graphic work in JavaScript and even put together a rather extensive
Paper.js Tutorial
which ranges in scope from the correct syntax and use of select functions
paper.js join, paper.js onFrame, and Points & Angles
all the way to full blown graphical effects such as:

Working Compound Pendulum

Full Screen Gradient Animation

or one that is really fun that I simply call
The Rectangle Game
(which views best in Mozzilla)

Having nothing to do with paper.js
Quazy Face of the Prophet
is a wonderful little animation that I made by abusing the YUI graphing library.

And, of course, there's plenty more to be found at
Brett Code
which is where I link all of my coding projects, solutions, tricks, one liners, cheat sheets, and so on.

Brett Stuff

There is a fine line between coding, writing, and art; and so very often, the three of them overlap. Ideally, that's the sort of thing I place in
Brett Stuff

California Lottery Analysis
What's the Best Game to Play Today

Gilding the Lily
is my first piece of photo fiction.

I followed this up with
What Stays in Chinatown
before switching to photo-manipulation stories.

And though there is more located in this section of my site, the only other project I shall specifically mention at this juncture is
Mr GigglesWorth K﹔ny News
which is a monthly data analysis of corn futures and that rather than financial advice should be viewed more as a beginning level data crunching test project.

Science Fiction & Fantasy Writing Projects

I am not locked into the real world. The last 10% of truth is meaningless to me. Some might say the first 10%, as well. But my code compiles. And that is Truth enough for me. But whether it leads to Beauty, who can say?

Or if that's not clear, in younger years, I travelled extensively throughout the Seven Realms, which, of course, is a lie. I only made it to two of 'The Realms' (Rigor Pass and an ever so brief stint to the Island of Gaul -- photographic proof of my journeys Making the Passage ). And if we are going to be honest (seldom that I am), I spent most of that time sitting on a stool in Lucky's Tavern sipping a Malted Milk, which is where I met Celli the Happy Go Lucky Celaphopod from whom I bought the Earthen Vortex publication rights to his
Drag﹏ B﹗nd Adventuring Series
(complete unedited and unabridged)
for the hefty price of 2-1/2 Chocolate Malts per book. Which reminds me, he still owes me the last book in the series. But let's be honest, the quality of writing sort of drops off in the fourth book. And at this point, I'm never expecting to receive the fifth book. But that second book

Minataur Tails

is a thing of wonder. It's everything that I want in a tome of fantasy adventure (none of the blood and guts, but jokes galore). In short, it is brilliant. It is a marvel. It is a Best Seller throughout the Realms (all of them). And one day, it will be a classic, here, in the Earthen Vortex, as well.

I hope you get the idea. The only reason I started a website in the first place was to market Celli's material. That's why my first website (now a spur) was, is, and shall ever be (so, that's how long forever lasts; anyhow, written stuff can be found at)

Brett Words

Most of the writing content I've acquired over the years is posted there, free for the browsing.

Kevin Stillwater's G'narsh: The Troll, The Myth, The Legend

is a science fiction, fantasy farce, written by a would be code monkey. Posted complete, unabridged, and as I acquired by hacking Kevin's computer at some point in the future.

Embracing the Smile That Is This Moment

by Ian Black and I am Blue
cuts to the heart of Pure Land Zen Buddhism in a delightfully irreverent way. I mean, if you can't laugh at a religion (yours, someone eles's, whoever's), then what's the point?
Online walkthrough above or go directly to the download page here
Embracing the Smile

There's a lot more content at Brett Words but that's what an index and landing page is for. As such, although there's several more book length novels and dozens upon dozens of short stories available, I shall only highlight three more links and leave the rest for you to investigate on your own.

Two quality short stories to wet your appetite are:

The Last Word in Old Crone & Thief Tales by Celli the Happy Go Lucky Celaphopod

A Turkey of a Story... or rather I mean, A Turkey Story by me Brett Paufler

And then, of course, there is

Brett Paufler's Resume Page

Ironically, I find it difficult to write a resume (more compelling than this webpage) as to why you might wish to hire me as Computer Vision Specialist (hey, it could happen) or partner with me on some sort of creative/coding/writing project, but as to crafting a resume so as to secure a crew position on a UFO, well, I'm all over that.

and speaking of UFO's...

Eddie Takosori

Eddie was more than happy to listen to me reminiscence about my travels throughout the Realms (and keep a straight face while I did so, I might add, that's an important part of any friendship), while I was more than happy to listen to his complaints about working for the CIDC (the less said, the better), administrative details concerning the travails of being the leader of a sex-fueled cult (oh, the hardship), and the difficulties inherent in having one's brain eaten by alien squid-like beings (our galactic overlords, don't you know), nigh on a decade ago (which in itself explains a great deal about Eddie's abundant eccentricities). But alas, he might have been telling the truth about that last... or maybe the doctors were right and he died of brain cancer. Who am I to say? Who am I to know? Either way, he was both a dear friend and a fellow writer. And his dying request to me (made a good two years before he died, so don't ask me why he didn't just do it himself) was that I post his life's work online. As such, his full creative portfolio may be found at:

(I still need to make a logo. I am remiss in my duties as a friend.)

Takosori Home Page

The easiest way to slip into Eddie's work might be to read:

Dream Jeannie by Eddie Takosori

which is a good explaination as you are going to find anywhere as to why Eddie loved his wife. Lucky man, that Eddie.

And from there, check out

The Suki Kamasutri: Queen of the Galactic Frontier by Eddie Takosori

which also seems to star his wife (as so much of his work does), and which also happens to be a novel of pan-galactic proportions... and utter ridiculousness if ever there was one. I mean, come on, it's a story that revolves around a clothes shopping adventure: literally buying a dress forms the basis of this particular mad-cap interstellar adventure. Thick on plot, it is not. Delightfully diverting, it is.

Or if neither of those strike your fancy (like your reading a bit more fact based, do you?) then you might wish to check out
The Sick: Drugs, Sex, & Celaphopods
about an alien squid brain sucking cult
The UFO Attractors Handbook: Practical Advise for an Impractical Hobby
I do believe the title says it all
Divining the Broken Heart
a thoroughly scientific exploration into the art of reading tarot cards

All this and more may be found at
www.paufler.net/takosori/index.html
if you dare to take the plunge.

Brett Food

Starting a blog? Thinking about trying your hand at website design? Might I recommend a safe topic on which to base your initial projects? How about something like food?

Ah, I see great minds work alike.

Brett Food

Cuisine ala American Bachelor Foodie Indifferent
'Recipe? We don't need no stinking recipe!'

Before I got into paper.js, I tried to make each page interesting in some way. As such (and much like any other food blog out there), I've got your standard issue

Tri-Tip & Salsa Memory Match Game Extravaganza

Tom Kah Gai Quail Monte Carlo Game

Playing for stakes (or should that be steaks) in the Monte Carlo Amusement is completely optional (though highly encouraged).

Rigged? Rigged?
How dare you accuse me of cheating!

There's more, of course, but with critical acclaim such as:

"You eat that?"
"That's got to be about the most disgusting thing I've ever seen!"
and
"No, don't bring anything. I'll cook."

I think the content (not to mention my standing as one of the World's Greatest Chef's) pretty much speaks for itself.
But just to show I'm a good guy, I've also included a few

Bizarrely Incomprehensible Recipes
because a witty name trumps taste every time

Reindeer Droppings
for the taste of the holidays

Powdered Gnome Balls
get your mind out of the gutter, please

Scrambled French Toast
folks have actually requested this one, go figure

Brett Rants

I'VE GOT A CAPS LOCK KEY! AND I'M WILLING TO USE IT!

Or rather, what I mean to say is, have you ever had a discussion with a relative, significant other, stranger in the elevator, maybe your cat, and just to shut you up, they say something like, "Wow! That's a great idea! You should really do something about that!"

Which would be, like, way too hard (doing something), but writing a short OP-ED piece, well, that I can manage. These then would be those little glimmerings of truth, straight from my mouth, to the trash bin of obscurity!

Brett Rants

contains such gems as

The Truth About Zombies
Zombies are stupid and will decompose naturally in a few days, so no need to worry. When they come (and come they will), just lock the doors, relax, and watch a Sienfeld marathon and when you are done (that really was a long running show, wasn't it), the zombies will be all gone. And I do believe, I managed to write more copy here, than I did in my original rant. Go figure.

Why Calligraphy Brushes Make for Great Wands
It's True!!! Pictorial proof included.

A Guide to Speed Reading in 100 words or less
The less said the better. Feel free to skip this rant.

A Review of Park Place Apartments in Walnut Creek
I liked living there. You will, too... or maybe you won't. What do I know?

Communism Explained
Marx was wrong! Or rather, Marx was right! And this is why. Of course, in the end, he was still wrong...

Why Tit for Tat Explains Nothing About Altruism
Much like how the game Monopoly has precious little to do with Real Estate Investing

So, basically, I put anything that's gnawing at my soul or has somehow gotten under my skin, but really isn't worth more than a few lines, much less an entire web page into Brett Rants and call it a day. I figure, most of these entries I will one day come to regret. So, why not lump them together and make them easier for others to find today?

I should really put a picture of my cat here...

paufler.net@gmail.com
© Copyright 2013-14 Brett Paufler

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